Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
Then they kick him in the ice hole.
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you!*
Thursday 2 December 2010
Re-igniting the blog - full of Christmas jeers
It's been a while, however, recently a new wave of awful has been returning, so let's stoke up the furnace again and start adding more fuel to the fire.
This was a brilliant email...
Subject: Pub Quiz
Once opened here's what I found...it's like Bernard Manning incarnate. Have edited out the really offensive ones...someone has to censor him.
I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod
after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Nottingham
but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets
You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive
slowly past schools
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?"
He said "Her brother's got a moustache"
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said
to the lady at the registration desk ... "I hope the porn channel in my
room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard."
This was a brilliant email...
Subject: Pub Quiz
Once opened here's what I found...it's like Bernard Manning incarnate. Have edited out the really offensive ones...someone has to censor him.
I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod
after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Nottingham
but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets
You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive
slowly past schools
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?"
He said "Her brother's got a moustache"
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said
to the lady at the registration desk ... "I hope the porn channel in my
room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard."
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