A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her Vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the Surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!' The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. 'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.' 'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago.' 'and what about the third rose ?' she asked. 'That's from a man upstairs in the burns unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.'
Monday 8 December 2008
A BIT LIPPY !
Phluffy Phuc
* A little girl goes to a pet shop and asks "excuthe me do you have any widdle wabbits?" ** The shopkeepers heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he is on her level and says "do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown one over there?" The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers, " I don't wealy fink my pyfon gives a phuc." *
Wednesday 3 December 2008
Joke of the Week
Story about a man who drunk alot, his wife said "iI you come drunk like this again i'm leaving you" The next night he went out and got totally rat-arsed, threw up all over himself, he said to his mate, "If i go home again drunk she will leave me", his friend said "Go home and tell her someone threw up all over you and put a £20 note in your inside pocket, and show it to her and say" He gave me this for a dry cleaning bill". He got home and told her what happened, she said " Why is it that there are two £20 notes in your pocket?" he replied "Thats from the man who shat in my pants !!"
Monday 1 December 2008
ESSEX LASS
Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's Blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the ground. Medic: 'OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed.' Sharon: 'Ok.' Medic: 'How many fingers am I putting up?' Sharon: 'Oh my god, I'm paralysed from the waist down!'
A classic festive selection of bird/women gags...21 Breast or Thigh related jokes.
21 things you can only get away with saying at Christmas
1. I prefer breasts to legs
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!
4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!
5. I've never seen a better spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry; do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you put it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!
19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning
20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!.....
and of course....
21. I do like a good stuffing.
1. I prefer breasts to legs
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!
4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!
5. I've never seen a better spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry; do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you put it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!
19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning
20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!.....
and of course....
21. I do like a good stuffing.
Wednesday 26 November 2008
God Help Us All...This needs destroying
PS Don't send it back to me!!!! Cuz I gotcha first!
~You have just been hit with a snow ball!~
It's the start of.....Snow Ball Fight 2008!!
One rule to this game....You can NOT hit someone who has already hit you!
Now...go out there and get as many people as you can, before they get you! I got you first! and you can't get me back !
We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!!!!
~You have just been hit with a snow ball!~
It's the start of.....Snow Ball Fight 2008!!
One rule to this game....You can NOT hit someone who has already hit you!
Now...go out there and get as many people as you can, before they get you! I got you first! and you can't get me back !
We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!!!!
Tuesday 18 November 2008
Monday 17 November 2008
I'm sorry, it's Monday...I did actually laugh at this.
TWO OLD MEN
TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU
KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'
'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER'
HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'
'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE DICKENS WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!'
TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU
KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'
'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER'
HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'
'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE DICKENS WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!'
Wednesday 12 November 2008
Bad Joke, really bad sign off. Perfect CFD fodder
 Flat Stomach
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad
bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried
about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?'
The mother replies, 'Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes
I have to get on top of it and help flatten it...'
'Your wasting your time,' said the boy.
'Why is that?' the mom asked puzzled.
'Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her
knees and blows it right back up.'
If you don't forward this joke in five minutes you will have bad sex for
fifteen years.
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad
bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried
about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?'
The mother replies, 'Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes
I have to get on top of it and help flatten it...'
'Your wasting your time,' said the boy.
'Why is that?' the mom asked puzzled.
'Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her
knees and blows it right back up.'
If you don't forward this joke in five minutes you will have bad sex for
fifteen years.
Monday 10 November 2008
End of the day guff. any time is guff time!
You will like this one,
The Indian With One Testicle
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle
and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that
name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone
again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called
him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue BirdÂ
forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He
jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and
all night. He made love to her all the next day,
until Blue Birddied from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what
he promised he would do. Years went by and no
one dared call him by his given name until A woman
named Yellow Birdreturned to the village after being
away. Yellow Bird , who was BlueBird'scousin, was
overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him
and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,Â
 then he made love to her all day, made love to her all
night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, but YellowBirdwouldn't die!
Why ???
OH, come on... take a guess !!!
Think about it !!!
You're going to love this !!!
Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!
The Indian With One Testicle
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle
and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that
name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone
again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called
him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue BirdÂ
forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He
jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and
all night. He made love to her all the next day,
until Blue Birddied from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what
he promised he would do. Years went by and no
one dared call him by his given name until A woman
named Yellow Birdreturned to the village after being
away. Yellow Bird , who was BlueBird'scousin, was
overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him
and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,Â
 then he made love to her all day, made love to her all
night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, but YellowBirdwouldn't die!
Why ???
OH, come on... take a guess !!!
Think about it !!!
You're going to love this !!!
Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!
Friday 7 November 2008
Another one for the pile...
While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'
To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?' 'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in,and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet.'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked
'You give him a radar gun and park him behind
a bridge.'
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face - PRICELESS!
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'
To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?' 'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in,and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet.'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked
'You give him a radar gun and park him behind
a bridge.'
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face - PRICELESS!
Monday 3 November 2008
Friday 31 October 2008
From the 13/10/08...very nice, perfect Fire Drill Fodder
The latest club craze is to fill a woman's vagina with vodka and then suck
it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of minge
drinking
A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos!
Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters!
85% of Liverpudlian males say they enjoy sex in the shower........ The
other 15% haven't been to prison yet
Just bought a racehorse called 'My Face', It may not be any good but I
can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'come on .. .My
face
If mothers Celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day, lovers
celebrate valentines day, do wankers celebrate palm sunday?
Just popped home, caught the plumber with his dick in the dog! Can't
believe the police won't do anything! They said the bastard was corgi
registered
Are you available to come to a charity pancake competition on Shrove
Tuesday? The organisers have the pans and the ingredients they just need a
tosser.
it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of minge
drinking
A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos!
Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters!
85% of Liverpudlian males say they enjoy sex in the shower........ The
other 15% haven't been to prison yet
Just bought a racehorse called 'My Face', It may not be any good but I
can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'come on .. .My
face
If mothers Celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day, lovers
celebrate valentines day, do wankers celebrate palm sunday?
Just popped home, caught the plumber with his dick in the dog! Can't
believe the police won't do anything! They said the bastard was corgi
registered
Are you available to come to a charity pancake competition on Shrove
Tuesday? The organisers have the pans and the ingredients they just need a
tosser.
...and there's more. Actually this one is quite funny.
A vicar books into a hotel and says to the hotel receptionist, "I hope the
porn channel in my room is disabled?"
She says "No it's just regular porn, you sick bastard."
porn channel in my room is disabled?"
She says "No it's just regular porn, you sick bastard."
More Comedy Gold from the bowels of the Web
A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout
looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and
eventually asks the hooker, 'How much do you charge?'
Hooker replies, 'It starts at $500 for a hand-job.'
Guy says, '$500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that
kind of money!'
The hooker says, 'Do you see that Denny's on the corner?'
'Yes.'
'Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?'
'Yes.'
'And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?'
'Yes.'
'Well,' says the hooker, smiling invitingly, 'I own those. And, I
own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500'
Guy says, 'What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try.'
They retire to a nearby motel.
A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that
he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of
$500. He is so amazed, he says, 'I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?'
The hooker replies, '$1,500.'
I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!'
The hooker replies, 'Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you
see that casino just across the street? I own that casino
outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth
every cent of $1,500.'
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job,
decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says,
'Sign me up.'
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than
before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his
money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for
one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker,
'How much for some pussy?'
The hooker says, 'Come over here to the window, I want to show you
something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out
before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and
showplaces?'
'Damn!' the guy says, in awe, 'You own the whole city?'
'No,' the hooker replies, 'but I would if I had a pussy.'
looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and
eventually asks the hooker, 'How much do you charge?'
Hooker replies, 'It starts at $500 for a hand-job.'
Guy says, '$500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that
kind of money!'
The hooker says, 'Do you see that Denny's on the corner?'
'Yes.'
'Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?'
'Yes.'
'And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?'
'Yes.'
'Well,' says the hooker, smiling invitingly, 'I own those. And, I
own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500'
Guy says, 'What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try.'
They retire to a nearby motel.
A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that
he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of
$500. He is so amazed, he says, 'I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?'
The hooker replies, '$1,500.'
I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!'
The hooker replies, 'Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you
see that casino just across the street? I own that casino
outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth
every cent of $1,500.'
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job,
decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says,
'Sign me up.'
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than
before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his
money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for
one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker,
'How much for some pussy?'
The hooker says, 'Come over here to the window, I want to show you
something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out
before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and
showplaces?'
'Damn!' the guy says, in awe, 'You own the whole city?'
'No,' the hooker replies, 'but I would if I had a pussy.'
This is exactly what this Blog is for...Sent by my father 30/09/08
The Why's of Men
>
> 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
> (because they are plugged into a genius)
>
> 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
> (they don't have enough time)
>
> 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
> (they don't stop to ask directions)
>
> 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
> (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
>
> (You're laughing, aren't
> you?!?!)
>
> 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
>
> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
>
> 6. WHY DID
> GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
>
> 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
> (don't know.....it never happened)
>
> (C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
> And the personal favorite:
>
> 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
>
> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in
> your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
> One for the ladies.......
> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
> sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
> shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
> 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
> He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'
>
> And they say blondes are dumb...
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
> 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
> The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
>
> ---------------------------------------------- -------------
>
> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped
> out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would
> think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
> 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
>
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
> A: A rumor
>
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> Dear Lord,
> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
> Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
> beat him to death.
> AMEN
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Q: Why do
> little boys whine?
> A: They are practicing to be men.
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
> and calling your name?
> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make
> their day!
> And send this to five bright men
> who have enough sense of humor to take it!
>
> 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
> (because they are plugged into a genius)
>
> 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
> (they don't have enough time)
>
> 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
> (they don't stop to ask directions)
>
> 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
> (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
>
> (You're laughing, aren't
> you?!?!)
>
> 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
>
> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
>
> 6. WHY DID
> GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
>
> 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
> (don't know.....it never happened)
>
> (C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
> And the personal favorite:
>
> 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
>
> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in
> your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
> One for the ladies.......
> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
> sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
> shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
> 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
> He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'
>
> And they say blondes are dumb...
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
> 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
> The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
>
> ---------------------------------------------- -------------
>
> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped
> out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would
> think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
> 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
>
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
> A: A rumor
>
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> Dear Lord,
> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
> Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
> beat him to death.
> AMEN
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Q: Why do
> little boys whine?
> A: They are practicing to be men.
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
> and calling your name?
> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make
> their day!
> And send this to five bright men
> who have enough sense of humor to take it!
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