http://instantrimshot.com/
Friday 22 January 2010
Now with added Rimshot!!!!
I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.
Is there a more perfect gag to enter the Fire Drill vault?
Confucius say, 'If you can't find the book you want, you're probably shopping at the...'
Back of the net!!!
Back of the net!!!
Eureka - Fire Drill liquid gold.
Taking a Women to Bed!!!
What is the difference between girls/women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78 ?
At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 -- Y ou don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story! *
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now,
212,130 are kissing, and.........
Hold on Fire Drillers, here it comes........
1 poor bastard is reading emails. (Pow, Boom, Thwack - on the floor)
You hang in there sunshine.
What is the difference between girls/women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78 ?
At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 -- Y ou don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story! *
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now,
212,130 are kissing, and.........
Hold on Fire Drillers, here it comes........
1 poor bastard is reading emails. (Pow, Boom, Thwack - on the floor)
You hang in there sunshine.
2010 - it's back and this time it's going to be hotter and more asian than ever
It's been quite a while, but CFD is back and boy are there some treats coming up - There goes the siren, let's go:
Joe and Dean were fishing in Michigan when Dean pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Joe for a light.
'Yeah, sure, he replied, and pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
'Jiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Dean, taking the huge Bic Lighter in his hands.'Where did you get that monster??'
'Well,' replied Joe, 'I got it from my Genie.'
'You have a Genie?' Dean asked.
'Yeah, sure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Joe.
'Could I see him?'
Joe opens his tackle box & sure enough, out pops the Genie. Addressing the genie, Dean says, 'Hey there I'm a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?''Yes, I will,' says the Genie. So Dean asks the Genie for a million bucks.
The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Dean sitting there waiting for his million bucks. Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks....flying directly overhead.
Over the roar of the million ducks Dean yells at Joe, 'What the heck I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!' Joe answers, 'Yeah, I forgot to tell you that the Genie is hard of hearing.
Do you really think I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"
Joe and Dean were fishing in Michigan when Dean pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Joe for a light.
'Yeah, sure, he replied, and pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
'Jiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Dean, taking the huge Bic Lighter in his hands.'Where did you get that monster??'
'Well,' replied Joe, 'I got it from my Genie.'
'You have a Genie?' Dean asked.
'Yeah, sure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Joe.
'Could I see him?'
Joe opens his tackle box & sure enough, out pops the Genie. Addressing the genie, Dean says, 'Hey there I'm a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?''Yes, I will,' says the Genie. So Dean asks the Genie for a million bucks.
The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Dean sitting there waiting for his million bucks. Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks....flying directly overhead.
Over the roar of the million ducks Dean yells at Joe, 'What the heck I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!' Joe answers, 'Yeah, I forgot to tell you that the Genie is hard of hearing.
Do you really think I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"
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